Percy Is King Of WHAT?
by avelinette
Summary: Percy has some unusually odd dreams about royalty. Warning: bad writing and extremely weird. Please don't judge me based on my past.
1. Chapter 1

**(a/n) If you're wondering why the Hades would anyone want to write a story like this, the answer is because it's a little while past 11:00 PM, and my mind is doing strange things. I was going to invite one of my OC's to do the disclaimer, because I don't believe in disclaimers, but then I started thinking about what the OC would say, and somehow I got into a fight with her. In my head. It ended in screaming. ****. Okay, here goes super craziness:**

Percy was asleep in his cabin after a long day of doing kitchen work because of the Stolls. Somehow, he and Grover had to take the punishment while Connor and Travis were off throwing chocolate bunnies at Katie or something.

Slowly, Percy's mind sank from its usual state of 'demigod dreams' into the state of real dreams, the ones that normal people who weren't freaks had. Not that I'm hinting anything about demigod dreams. .

Anyhow, no matter which kind of dream you are having, it would seem that no one else can tell what is happening. That is, unless you talk in your sleep. Of course, Percy only talks in his sleep after he's killed the Minotaur with its own horn.

So, sadly for you, you can't tell what Percy is dreaming about, unless of course you have a wonderfully delirious young author, willing to write it down for you in italics. Oh, you do? It's me? Eh, I should have seen that one coming around the bend.

So now, I guess I'm going to have to tell you about Percy's dream. Of course, I have to say, so far it's pretty tempting for me just to leave this story the way it is, and annoy the crap out of you. That is, if anyone is bothering to read this.

You know what? I'm feeling extra generous (don't forget extra crazy) tonight, so I'll tell you what Percy was dreaming about. But I warn you, this isn't regular Percy. It's really avelinette is being cuckoo and coming up with a completely nutty story Percy. So this ain't gonna be pretty. But hey, you asked for it:

_A blue swan glided over to Percy as he descended down the bubbly stairway. Percy descended, not the swan. The swan glided, silly. The swan spoke clearly, but not very distinctly. "Your incredibly royal highness, there is a terrible issue!"_

_Percy rolled his incredibly royal kingly eyes. "All right, let me guess. You, the royal pig (which is a swan), have just come from Kettlecorn, Kansas, where an incredibly stupid Disney show abused the rights we gave to the good witch of the east, Belinda."_

_The royal pig (which was a swan) gasped, if royal pigs/swans could gasp. "Your incredibly royal highness! How did you guess? But anyway, how shall we punish the producers of the show?"_

_Percy used his incredibly royal kingly brain to come up with an easy decision: "You are very stupid for a royal pig (which is a swan). The choice for punishment is very simple, indeed. We shall simply have them listen to the unroyal Don Quixote de Queso (who is Justin(a) Bieber) sing!"_

_The royal swan/pig thing gasped again. "Your incredibly royal highness, that is a brilliant idea! I'll go arrange it immediately!"_

Percy woke up, and immediately ran to find Annabeth. "Annabeth, Annabeth, I just had a dream! I think something bad is going to happen!" Percy explained the dream with great care and detail to Annabeth. "So, what does it mean?"

Annabeth took a look at Percy's completely serious face, and banged her head against the table. "Percy, you are such a seaweed brain! That was an actual dream, you idiot!"

**(a/n) Okay, as I write these last words, it is coming up on midnight. The above dream is proof of why my parents should lock me up at night. That, and I really need to go to sleep.**

**Peace out, peeps!**


	2. Chapter 2

**(a/n)It's 7:00 am, and I did not get enough sleep last night at all. Maybe I'm crazy enough to continue a certain story! But first, apparently even on this crazy story, I need to say a few things. To alice, the JB hating part of the last story was just because last summer, my 8 year old cousin decided that he was going to be the next JB, and practiced sing ALL of JB's songs. My cousin is not the best singer, to put it nicely, and I don't exactly love JB's singing no. It's a personal thing. I have nothing against Disney's The Suite Life on Deck, but I think that their shows are getting worse and worse. The "incredibly stupid" part was just because I needed to emphasize something so I could say "incredibly" again. I have a weird mind when I'm tired. Now, to prove to myself that I am crazy enough to write this, I have invited one of my OCs (who is the cause of my pen name) to do the disclaimer, so here is the real Avelinette:**

**Ave: Okay, so Avelinette does not own anything she—wait, if you don't believe in disclaimers, why do you need one?  
Me: Good question. Bye, Ave!  
Ave: It was not one of your best ideas to make me a Siren.  
Me: Would you just shut up?  
Ave: Make me!  
Me: FINE!  
Ave: You aren't doing anything!  
Me: Well, too bad!  
Ave: Now, YOU shut up!  
Me: No, YOU!  
Ave: YOU!  
Me: YOU, and that's final!**

**Sorry about that, it's the same way last night's ended. On with the story, now!**

After Annabeth finally explained to Percy what an actual dream was, he walked back to his cabin, muttering to himself. "That was too real! I was a king! An incredibly royal one! You know what; I think I'll have an "actual dream" marathon tonight!"

As stupid as that sounds to you, reader, because this alternate OoC Percy is incredibly stupid, he may be able to make it work. Stupid ideas and stupid people go together as much as Mac 'n' Cheese stays away from Avelinette. Me, not my character.

So now, as Percy falls asleep again, we will be allowed to see dream after dream of the bubble king. That is, if you, reader, review. 'Cause this writer is fresh out of bubble king dream ideas. But anyway, here is Percy's second incredibly stupid dream of the night.

_The incredibly royal bubble king was sitting in his incredibly royal banquet hall, eating an incredibly not so royal fried chicken tender, when suddenly, the royal Muppet (which is a bison) hopped over to Percy and insisted that they speak, it was urgent:_

"_Your incredibly royal highness, there is an issue with FedEx!"_

_Percy rolled his incredibly royal kingly eyes, and said to the royal Muppet (which is a bison) "Let me guess. FedEx is making their own bubble wrap bags again. And I'll bet they aren't putting our incredibly royal but not so kingly stamp on them."_

_The royal Muppet (which is a bison) gasped; if royal Muppets that are bison can gasp."Your incredibly royal highness! How, in the name of all things bubbly, did you guess?"_

_Percy used his incredibly royal kingly vocal chords to reply. "Well, DUH! I'm the incredibly royal and kingly king of all bubbles! As for their punishment, we shall . . . make them participate in The Marshmallow Test!"_

_The royal Muppet (which is a bison) swooned. After steadying itself on a random rock, the royal Muppet (which is a bison) finally spoke. "Your incredibly royal highness, are you sure! I mean, it's the Marshmallow Test! But wait. You are always sure. I will go arrange it immediately."_

**(a/n) You can watch part of the marshmallow test if you go on youtube, and after the slash in the address paste this: watch?v=QX_oy9614HQ . I don't know if FF will let me say that, though, so if it doesn't, sorry. On a different matter, if you want me to post more dream chapters, just tell me in your review. Ideas for dream chapters are welcome, just tell me which royal assistant it is (you can make one up) what room it is in, what abuse of bubbles it is, and what the torture is. You can leave out the torture if you want, because I LOVE coming up with odd ways to torture people. I was actually really surprised that people were actually reading this. Only one review so far, though. *sighs***

**avelinette**


	3. Chapter 3

**(a/n) Sorry I was so late posting this, I was busy all week, and yesterday was my sister's b-day. Tell me if you have an idea for a chapter or if you can beta this story. Was anyone else mad at the black eyed peas for their suckish performance last Sunday? It did get better towards the end, though. Thanks to all the people who reviewed, and just so you readers know, a Don Quijote de Queso is what I call people when I'm mad at them: it basically means "You are a crazy dude made out of cheese." Trying to understand my brain is a dangerous process; I would advise you to steer clear of the very notion it's self.**

Right now, we are in the second dream of the marathon, part three of all of wacky Percy's dreams. In this dream, you will see why Percy needs his royal crew, as well as what happens when psycho-hungry authors right a chapter for a crazy story.

And now, cue the ominous music, for the dream shall begin! Wait, did I just say shall? Oh, never mind, here's the dream already:

_The incredibly royal highness himself was for once using his incredibly royal-but not so incredibly royally big-brain to observe bubbles without an assistant. All of his assistants were hiding in the attic, afraid of what was coming next._

_The incredibly royal highness then used his incredibly royal mouth to yell at his incredibly royal computer. "Come on! I am the incredibly royal highness of all things bubbly! Just load the frickin' page, will you?"_

_Finally, the magical internet page, full of fairies and mischief, and pretty rainbow riding elves that pooped butterflies—oops, sorry, wrong magical website that for whatever reason is full of fairies and mischief._

_Actually, this website didn't have ANY fairies or ANY—actually it COULD have mischief—but that's not the point. The website, however, WAS magical. At least to the extent that Percy, the incredibly royal highness himself, could watch a live video feed from a place where there were no cameras._

_The video feed was of a girl's birthday party, and it was around __Labor__ Day weekend. Now, what does this have to do with bubbles, you may ask? Well, lucky for you, the royal idiot (who is Annabeth, a child of Athena, and not stupid at all) had managed to sneak in to the room._

"_Umm, your incredibly royal highness, what the Hades does this have to do with bubbles?"_

_His incredibly royal highness rolled his incredibly royal eyes. "Oh, poor, poor, you, royal idiot (who is Annabeth, a child of Athena, and not stupid at all). Oh, and like, BTW, you, like, TOTE have to say 'What in the name of his incredibly royal highness himself?' instead of 'What the Hades?' from now on._

_And, furthermore, royal idiot (who is Annabeth, a child of Athena, and not stupid at all), this completely has to do with bubbles! See that cake? It's a bubble shaped birthday cake."_

_The royal idiot (who is Annabeth, a child of Athena, and not stupid at all) frowned. "Um, your incredibly royal highness? Isn't that a good thing, that she picked a bubble theme?"_

_His incredibly royal highness rolled his incredibly royal eyes, and then used his incredibly royal vocal chords to speak. "Sometimes I wonder why your title doesn't have an incredibly in it. As in 'the INCREDIBLY royal idiot (who is Annabeth, a child of Athena, and not stupid at all)._

_Obviously, it is Labour Day weekend. And as there is only one guest at the amazingly bubble themed party, that is a disgrace to all bubbles, everywhere!"_

_The royal idiot (who is now the incredibly royal idiot) (who is Annabeth, a daughter of Athena, and not stupid at all) now rolled her eyes, and spoke. "Umm, whatever you say, your incredibly royal highness." And then, the royal idiot (who is now the incredibly royal idiot) (who is Annabeth, a daughter of Athena, and not stupid at all) left the room._

_Percy, the incredibly royal king, rolled his incredibly royal eyes, and muttered under his breath: "Ugh. Royal idiots are all the same. Whine, whine, whine, and whine, WHINE, __**WHINE, **__**and WHINE!**__ And then, they just roll their incredibly stupid eyes, and leave. In the name of his incredibly royal highness himself! Oh, wait. That's me. Never mind."_

_And with that, the second dream of the marathon, and part three of an incredibly ridiculous series ends._

**(a/n) Well, then. That was an odd dream. I think I'm going to stop this at either five chapters or ten chapters. Tell me what you think in a review. And yes, that DOES mean that I am completely and totally expect you to . . .please review? With a cherry and sprinkles on top? Or a jelly bean? Pretty please?**

**Peace out, peeps!**


	4. The End (Viva Las Mariposas!)

**(a/n) HEYLOOKANUPDATE! So first off, I just want to say that if you subjected yourself to reading through this torture, and made it all the way through, you deserve some major virtual hugs. I cringe every two sentences and I wrote the gosh-darned thing. (Like, twelve years ago, though, so please don't judge me.) I kept the final chapter short to match a) my attention span and b) the previous chapters.**

**WARNING: Weird. Majorly weird. Weirder than how weird I was when I wrote the first few chapters. Kind of a dark weird. Something might be wrong with me. Oh, and no italics this time - hopefully, you'll get why.**

Deep within the walls of the bubble king's castle, all was not well. His incredibly royal highness spent more time worrying about the lands and oceans beyond his control than his own subjects.

One group of radical insurgents had even begun to speak of a revolution, a mutiny to be enacted in the dark of night. Members of the movement to overthrow the monarchy were spread far and wide, even existing among some of the king's most trusted servants.

On this night in specific, three of those servants had met secretly, using the protective cover of night and shadow for all it was worth. They shared glances with each other, each one a bit horrified at what their once beautiful nation had brought down to by their dictator of a monarch, but the first to speak in a hushed whisper was the royal idiot (who is Annabeth, a child of Athena, and not stupid at all).

"I am ashamed that it has come to this, but we cannot allow our fellow citizens to suffer. If the king will not surrender by choice, he must be removed from the throne by force. Harold, I know you're a pacifist, but think of our people."

Harold, the royal Muppet (which is a bison), surprised both of his comrades with his response. "Actually, Annabeth, I didn't come tonight to try to convince you of my beliefs. I don't want to admit it, but you're...well, you're right. I cannot blindly follow the ruthless tyrant our leader has become. I wish to help you in any way I can - that is, if you and Riley will still accept my assistance."

"Of course!" Riley, the royal pig (which is a swan), rushed out. Riley had always had the tiniest bit of a crush on Harold, but figured an upcoming mutiny and all was grounds to ignore it.

"Har, we need you. You have access to places in the castle we can only dream of."

Harold swallowed. "So, umm...what can I do to help?"

Annabeth seemed reluctant to give him his assignment. "Just remember, before I tell you, that there are other options. It's just - this one is the best. I wouldn't ask it of you if it weren't."

Harold seemed much more sure of himself when he responded. "I am prepared to do whatever it takes for the sake of our nation."

Riley and Annabeth shared a look, an unspoken agreement that yes, their friend was ready for the dangerous task.

"In this world, our king is immortal, without any known weakness. The moment he catches on to the change in sentiment, he will be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent. There is talk in the nearby village of a riot tomorrow - tonight is our only chance to avoid total war."

"But," Harold questioned, "how do you best a god?"

"Well," Riley said, wings fluttering nervously, "that's the thing. In _our_ world, he's a god. However, we've managed to find a bridge to a place where he _can_ be killed."

"This is where you come in." Annabeth spoke up again. "As _his incredibly royal highness'_ personal servant, you will have access to his private quarters and knowledge of his simply need you to make sure that the king ingests this." She pulled out a vial of what appeared to be a clear liquid.

"Water from the other realm. It will trap his soul with that of his double."

Harold nodded, taking the vial gently with his mouth. "And what will become of the double?"

Riley quickly assuaged Harold's worry. "The double's soul is much stronger, especially in his own realm. Unless he's surrounded by supernatural beacons, he will dissolve and absorb the king's soul and memories in dreams. No one will think anything of it."

Harold shook his head in agreement, before turning around and heading off to do what had to be done.

When Percy Jackson woke up from his marathon of dreams, something was extremely different. Actually, it was mainly the "Percy Jackson" part. Later that week, others would begin to notice the difference. But no one would _really _notice until Chiron was called to Mount Olympus to be questioned about the logic and training strategy that led Camp Halfblood to order 10,000 gallons of bubble solution.

**(a/n) So there you go, closure. Think of this as my revenge on the people that subscribed to a crappy oneshot. Also, don't write about power-abusing monarchs while reading historical fiction about Trujillo's dictatorship because it evidently does not end well. Sorry for such a short and, well, bad breach of hiatus. If it's any consolation, I've got something in the works with Hazel-theTheatreGeek, though it may take a while to surface. (Also, if you find any horrible grammatical mistakes, please blame them all on her, as I got bored while waiting for her to beta this and posted it anyway).**

**-avelinette**


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